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Today is the first of November. I love the first of November. The day after Halloween is a hugely exciting day for me. What, you may ask, is so special about the 306th day of the year 2016? For me that answer can be summed up in 2 little words.
The Halloween season for me is always built up more in my head than in reality. I always get bizarrely excited for it, the costumes, the parties, the seasonal appreciation of all things spooky. Then the day comes, and I don’t do anything. I don’t remember the last time I actually celebrated Halloween in any way. I suppose you could say this is true for most, if not all, holidays. The excitement is usually more in my head but with Christmas it’s different.
I honestly cannot remember what it felt like the last time I was really, truly in the Christmas spirit. I can tell you the year was 2007, but I don’t remember it. I only remember the year because I know 2008 was the first year I remember the feeling missing, and I remember that I had taken note of it at the time. But with Christmas there’s always the hope of the spark of Christmas magic coming back. There are moments when I can feel it, just on the edges. Almost like, I’m in a bubble and the magic of the season is swarming, thickly around me, but it just can’t touch me. I’m aware of it’s presence but I can’t feel it. Every year there is the hope that this is the year, this time the bubble will pop and I will be flooded with the magic of Christmas once again.
I know, this sounds depressing, but honestly, it is exactly that depressing (lol). Just kidding, I mean, yeah it’s depressing to go year after year hoping this time it will be different, but in some ways the memories are almost just as good. I remember the joy of being a child. I remember family. I remember snow days, and coco, and baking cookies with my mom. There were so many moments that stand out in my mind as possibly the happiest time of my life, and almost all of them involve the holidays.
Yesterday, after leaving work, I came home and watched Hocus Pocus (actually, I watched twice to make up for the fact that I hadn’t watched it at all this month leading up to Halloween). I went to sleep in a remarkably good mood, and when I woke up….
Christmas music makes me happy. I can’t start it before Halloween, believe me I’ve tried, but once we hit November I’m golden. I love the classics, another connection to happy times. Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole, Patsy and Elmo, these are my happy sounds for the next 60 or so days (yeah, I listen to Christmas music until New Year’s, don’t judge me). Starting it up this morning on my commute set the tone for one of the best days I’ve had at work in months. I smiled the whole day, I laughed, I joked with co-workers, and I started to dream and hope for the moment my Christmas spirit of old would return. Maybe this year.